Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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