so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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