All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
