he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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