I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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