In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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