So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
