KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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