if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
