I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
