omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
