I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
