super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
