His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
