Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
