My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
