just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
