Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
