i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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