My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
