Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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