Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
