is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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