Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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