And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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