My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
