I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
