If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
