i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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