I'm so fucking centered right now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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