My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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