gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize