Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
