I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
