Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i think i scared a bird with my dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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