he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
