I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
