And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
