Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so let's talk penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
