so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
