I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
