I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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