My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
