I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
