Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
