I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
