Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
