Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
