Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
