Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
