I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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