Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
