She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
