I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
