we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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