i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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