he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
