I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize