Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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