woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
