Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize