shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
