OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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