So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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