everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
