I am puke
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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