I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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