real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
