He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
